Santa’s Helper

 

HELP WANTED 

Tucker stared at the ridiculous holiday sign in his hands. It was supposed to be ‘festive’, but the red made him angry, the green made him want to puke, and the cutesy elves with the chibi deer were just the cherry to the crap sandwich he had deemed his life. Why else was he the only college student being told he needed a job for semester break? Where the hell else could he go for a job besides the Grand Lux Mall downtown?  

He was a fucking Junior he needed to be enjoying his time off, maybe next year or even during the summer he could get and internship. He didn’t have that many left after all. Instead, he was standing in a mall with dozens of patrons looking like an idiot. What other self-respecting young man would find themselves standing outside of a fake gingerbread house in a constructed winter landscape? He tried not to seethe when parents and other people passed him, snickering. Yeah, he got it: He looked ridiculous but the person in charge, dressed like an elf had disappeared into the fake house with another prospective employee. 

The mall only had a sprinkling of holiday shoppers. It wasn’t the go-to hub in the town it used to be. Not to mention the relentless soundtrack of Christmas music playing throughout the mall for absolutely no one. The speakers were so bad; it sounded like the music was playing from miles away.

Each pillar had a swirling Christmas tree colored tinsel adorned with white Christmas lights. A huge Christmas tree sat in the middle of the mall, with dozens of fake presents under it. It was all a part of Santa’s Winter Wonderland area for the mall, not too far away was a red cushioned fancy looking throne, with gold arm rests and legs. Then off to the left was tucker and the stupid house.

Tucker had nothing better to do than continue to maul over how his mom and dad had saddled him with this. They both claimed to have come up with the idea separately, but Tucker had already grown accustomed to their tactics. No matter whose idea it was they’d both presented a united front and demolished any rebuttals Tucker had. They treated him like he was the Grinch, but was he wrong to not want to waste Christmas in his hometown’s dying mall? 

“No, no, no. I told you there’s no position as a reindeer, Santa already has 8, and of course Rudolph. “The interviewer held the door open as another guy much older than Tucker stormed past. 

“Well, you should have said that from the beginning!” The stranger stormed past Tucker, almost knocking him over.  Tucker was able to catch himself, then paused as he took note of the interviewer examining him. A smile crept on the interviewer’s face and Tucker’s stomach turned in knots; he could guess where this was headed.

“You must be here to apply as an elf.” The interviewer stated. 

Tucker just knew something stupid like that would happen. Just because he was 5ft ’4 didn’t mean he wanted to prance around in a silly little costume. “No, I’m here for a job. There’s got to be other positions open besides elf?” Tucker answered back snarky. The interviewer wasn’t much taller than him. Maybe what. 2 inches?  He definitely didn’t look as old as Tucker. Where did he get off immediately assuming Tucker would be a fucking elf?

“I mean there are a variety of jobs, but we’re all elves here to help out Santa for the holidays.” The interviewer smiled.

Crossing his arms and tapping his foot, Tucker took a good look at the interviewer. The dude was a blond-haired baby-faced mischievous-looking little shit. Tucker assumed the guy was probably in high school. Why else would the guy take a job that had him wearing a hat with a jingle bell on the tip in red and green outfits?

An hour later, in front of a mirror, Tucker would be forcing himself into the same outfit with his new holiday manager, who insisted on being called Nuzzles, watching him slip on the uniform. It was beyond ugly.  Besides the hat there was a green fleece coat with a red collar, a red mesh undershirt, and candy-striped leggings that substitute white for green. The ridiculous pointed elf shoes had bells on them and were nothing more than glorified slippers. Nuzzles had just pulled all the pieces out of a closet in the gingerbread house, that seemed more like a small storage unit. 

“I just knew you should be on the team.” Nuzzles exclaimed, as Tucker shoved his left arm into the uniform’s left sleeve grimacing. “The uniform fits like a glove.”

Tucker pushed his head through the opening asking, “Are you out of your mind?” before noticing the uniform fit him exactly. Odd. He could have sworn it was loose in some place, but now it seemed perfect. Tucker turned his hips in the mirror. The candy-cane stripe leggings were too revealing in the front and too tight in the back. He awkwardly pulled down the coat-like top, but sadly it barely covered it. Still, something was better than nothing. 

“So, you feel that Christmas cheer yet?” Nuzzles asked. 

No words, just a deadpan look of one young man to another.  

“I know, It feels silly, but leading up to Christmas you’re going to feel good putting a smile on everyone’s face. Helping out Santa is going to be amazing.”

Fighting the urge today ‘Fuck them kids.’ Tucker managed to ask. “Who’s going to be Santa this year?”

“I’m not sure yet, but whoever it is, the elves will be sure to help him.”

“Wait, you’re telling me the mall hasn’t even hired a Santa yet?”

“Well, we all tried but no one was really up to the task.” Nuzzles shrugged sadly. The blond elf snapped his fingers, “But you do have a point, Christmas is almost here. How about you start now?”

“There are a few kids in the mall, but they’re not really lined–

Nuzzles shook his head, “No not for the line.to meet Santa. I would suggest you try walking around getting used to being an elf. I can tell you’re not enjoying it. Having others see you might change that.”

Tucker huffed off, trying to calm his nerves. He needed this job to get his parents off this case.  He walked around hat jingling all the way. A few people gawked when he strolled past the food court, children waved to him in the corridors. Then his absent-minded strolling landed him right in front of the toy store. Tucker wondered why he had even walked there, looking at the display windows filled with the newest doll and action figures. He hadn’t been inside a toy store in ages. 

Stepping inside, Tucker heard the Christmas music played from the store’s speakers get louder. “Wow” he uttered, it took him back.

“Ahem.” One of the two cashiers to Tucker’s far right gave a fake cough.” You can’t stand in the middle of the entrance and exit, sir.”  This was a guy around Tucker’s age, seemingly in his own personal hell as his face looked less than thrilled. Meanwhile his female coworker happily helped a young mother and son check out.

“I’m not here to do anything weird or steal. I just wanted to look around.” 

“Yeah, I know. EVERYONE knows the mall elves participating in the Christmas giveaway event. You must be here to pick up some of the toys, right? Though I thought we were doing it closer to Christmas?”

“No,” Tucker waved his hands. “I’m not here for toys, only to look.”

“OOOOkay then move along.” the cashier said.

“Were you really going to let me take toys without payment?”

The cashier snickered, “Oh believe me, that outfit you’re wearing is payment enough.”

Tucker tightened his lips and fought the urge to talk back. Swallowing his pride, he walked on.  

The toy store had tall ceilings, and bright lights, with another entrance/exit that led outside. It was essentially one of those stores that operated like separate buildings tacked onto the mall. Tucker found himself wandering into the boys’ car aisle; he had loved racing Hot Wheels when he was younger. He could feel his memories rising to the surface. He spent hours talking his parents’ ears off about car factoids he would learn, not having a real clue what any of it meant. Tucker took in all the shelves stockpiled to the brim, probably for the last time before the final holiday rush. 

“Excuse me, mister?”

Tucker turned to see a young girl standing in the aisle. 

“Can you reach that?” She pointed to a wrecking ball toy car that was on the top shelf.  Not too bad considering there were only 4 shelves each row, but there was no way a child could reach it. 

“Sure!” Tucker said, before considering there was no way he could reach the shelf. It was only when he stepped up to the shelf it dawned on him how short he was. Tucker tried to eye for a stepladder or employee, to save from embarrassing himself. When he spotted neither, he figured if he could stretch, or even hop up, he could knock the box over. 

Tucker tried wiggling his fingers, standing on his tippy toes, but it didn’t help. He couldn’t even contact the box. 

He jumped once. No dice. “Why did they put it so high up?”  as he bent back down, his thighs and calves began to expand, The striped leggings he had on stretched further as muscles began filling them up 

He jumped twice. He managed to actually touch the corner of the toy box. “Okay that wasn’t that hard of a jump.” This time as he prepared himself for the next jump, his legs got longer. His ankles and shins were slowly revealed as the hems of the pants rode up.

He jumped thrice. He fully hit the box knocking it, but it didn’t come down. “Shoot, I overshot.” As Tucker went to crouch a fourth time, he stopped. He needed to reposition himself. Something was off. As he stood back up Tucker, witnessed his unbending knees bring him closer to the box. Just by standing up Tucker was in a position to just reach out and grab the box. So that’s what he did.

Tucker handed the box to the girl as she gleefully reached for it, then cradled it.

A woman in a long trench coat appeared looking frantically down the aisle “Elizabeth, there you are! How many times do I have to say, don’t take off in the toy store.’

“Mom, mom the giant elf helped me get the toy. Santa must have sent him!” the girl squeezed.

The exhausted mother gave a ‘thank you’ look to Tucker before hustling her daughter along. Tucker chuckled at the words, “Giant elf” he was barely even… Tucker looked down at the ground. Had the ground always been so far away? Were his feet that big? Were his legs that long?

More importantly had the pants always been as tight as they were now, or was he just noticing it?  Tucker pulled on the leggings; they were more like a second skin. The clothing was contorted to perfectly reveal every aspect of his lower body. Embarrassingly, the top half of his coat no longer covered his crotch, and there was a noticeable bulge. 

“ATTENTION Shoppers: It seems Santa WILL FINALLY be making an appearance later today. Please everyone get in the mood, get festive. Let that Christmas spirit take over you!”

The high-pitched squeaky voice on the intercom was, undoubtedly, Nuzzles. Had he actually hired a Santa in that short amount of time since Tucker left? Then again, Nuzzles hired him barely without any background check, who was he to judge? As Tucker walked out of the toy store, for some reason it felt claustrophobic. He wandered through the mall, everywhere he looked, a store he had known for years seemed smaller somehow. Had someone come through and shrank everything in the mall?

There was a light “WOOF”, then Tucker saw a golden retriever puppy headed towards him, leash dragging along the floor.

“Stop that puppy!” A man yelled frantically. 

Tucker dove down onto his knees. The puppy tried to pivot, but its momentum sent it sliding across the glossy floor and into Tucker’s awaiting arms. Tucker wrestled with the pup. His biceps swelled, helping to hinder the puppy’s escape, however the pup was a wild one and kept wiggling through only to be met with larger forearms. The elf sleeves began to split at the seams right on the shoulders. The stitching finally came undone revealing Tucker’s massive shoulders, as the puppy found itself trapped.  Tucker stood up keeping the puppy, who quickly became more interested in playing with his fingers, safe and secure.

 “Thank you, thank you.”  The strange man bent over on his knees breathing. He looked like a down on his luck salesman from an early 2000’s sitcom. His hair was ragged, with a slick sheen of sweat on his face. “I came here to pick this little guy up for my son’s Christmas present, but this scamp took off before I could get the leash on.” 

Tucker was a bit pissed off his uniform got ruined, Nuzzles would surely hold it against him, yet Tucker couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face. Whether it was because he found the father’s story amusing, or the puppy tickling his hands, Tucker couldn’t be sure.  He handed the calmed pup back to its new owner. 

When he finally pulled his arms away from his body Tucker noticed his fleece coat was open. The buttons were scattered on the floor and even the buckle to the uniform’s cheap belt had broken. What should have captured Tucker’s attention more was his undershirt, replaced with a white tank top, or how his pectorals were perfectly framed and on display. A fully developed upper body where there had not been one before. 

“How about you get this pup back to your home and ready for your son?” Tucker patted the man’s shoulder. He was doing his best not to blame the man for ruining his uniform. Part of him felt he wouldn’t be entirely in the wrong to ask the man for compensation for his outfit. Then again, another look at the father made him lose that resolve. Tucker moved along. This whole day wasn’t the man’s fault or even Nuzzles. Tucker knew truly it all went back to his parents if they hadn’t forced him to get a job there wouldn’t have been a uniform to rip. As such, the least they could do was pay to fix it. 

The more Tucker focused on it, the angrier he got. His walk through the mall became more of march as he stomped. Emotion wasn’t purely to blame for this, Tucker’s feet meeting the ground with a heavier weight didn’t help. Every step caused Tucker’s foot to stretch its bones and skin becoming longer and wider. The comfiness of the elven shoes made it impossible to notice at first. But Tucker’s luck soon ran out when his shoes split open and before even processing it, he immediately stepped on a Lego.

“Ouch, holy shi.. what the fuck!” his right foot recoiled back up into the air as if branded by fire. Tucker hobbled to the nearest bench, wayward Lego piece in hand. Tucker examined his left foot, resting it against his right knee. There was barely an indent on there, but damn if he didn’t feel like an idiot who strolled into a bear trap. As Tucker looked at his foot, he was surprised by how much real estate there was for the Lego to get him. He wiggled his toes wondering why it seemed more akin to Bigfoot than his normal size. Tucker released his foot and sunk back into the bench, not relinquishing the tiny bit of plastic that brought him down. “Who even still plays with Lego?!” he gritted his teeth. 

Tucker threw his head back as his foot finally stopped aching. Removing his foot off his knee the soft fabric began to mold together into a harder tougher material covering Tucker’s foot once again. By the time his foot slammed on to the ground, both feet were covered and protected by the biggest military grade black boots. Tucker’s head jerks up hearing the shoes meet the ground. He lifted his foot knowing he had just been bitching and moaning but damn if they didn’t look good on him! The tragedy was his leggings looked more like long johns and probably made him look more like a wayward elf. Then again how many Christmas elves were 6 ft tall?  He was already an outlier. He’d look more at home in Lord of the Rings than working at a toy shop. 

“No, I swear it was here!” a boy suddenly cried out.

The adult with him, no doubt his mother, stated, “Ryerson Matthew Lenard, I do not want to hear it. You know I have to get shopping done early today. Your father and I still have to get yo— I mean we have to double check what Santa is getting you.”

Tucker rolled his eyes as a slight smile plastered his lips. He couldn’t believe kids would eat that line of crap up. Was he ever that stupid? Instead of letting the future train wreck continue, Tucker stood up, no longer feeling the pain in his foot.   “Excuse me miss, is your son looking for this?” He held up the Lego piece. The boy’s eyes went wide with excitement reaching out as Tucker handed it over. The moment the toy was exchanged, Tucker scratched the side of his face. His cheeks had become itchy all of a sudden. Hundreds of hair follicles began to sprout on his face and his neck. Even as it stopped itching the growth wouldn’t rest. The hair overtook Tucker’s face until he had a full beard. 

Ryerson’s eyes went wide, as the beard appeared to have poofed into place with the speed it had. Tucker confusingly poked and lightly pulled on the hair. Ryerson tugged on his mom’s clothes, “Mom, look at a magic trick. Do it again!” Mrs. Lenard’s attention, however, had gone to her phone. Tucker wasn’t registering what was going on with the two. He was much more invested in his reflection in the store mirror.  At first, he wondered who the buff homeless man dressed like an elf was, standing next to the mother and son, before realizing it was him. 

He walked over to the store window, hearing Ryerson pleading for his mom to look. Tucker touched his face, pressing fingers into the beard. There was no adhesive, sticky pad or any kind of separation that would denote it as fake. He truly had grown a beard. His fingers began to leave indentations, and his normally round cheeks began to sink in. Tucker’s lower jaw became like playdough, deforming with every touch. However, it was not losing shape, it was taking shape. Behind, the once cherub round facial features, were sharp edges waiting to be exposed. Tucker’s new beard only heightened the display.

Mrs. Leonard never once looked up, moving her son away, while Ryerson looked transfixed. Tucker watched it all play out in the window’s reflection. Tucker wouldn’t focus on them long; he had to get back to Nuzzles. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was no doubt Nuzzles had slipped him some weed or even laced the clothes with it. That had to be it, Tucker concluded. The reason he couldn’t connect his thoughts together, the reason the room was starting to spin as he headed back. A result of the most intense contact high.

The world blurred then stirred, as Tucker moved along. His leggings were the first in his vision to simply undo itself before coming back together as a pair of bright red pants ending with white tufts on the hems. The exact style was copied onto his torn coat, weaving itself back better than ever. The silly bell on his hat turned into a ball of fluff, that weighed down a now floppy red hat. moving his body was becoming harder, Tucker leaned onto a pillar, as body continued to increase its muscle mass. 

None of that would have been so bad if people weren’t just appearing in his vision. They were like ghosts, slightly transparent but fading in more into the mall, popping into Tucker’s peripheral sight.  It wasn’t a scattering of individuals or couples either. There were full families crowding the halls. Kids running around in circles, babies being pushed in circles. The Christmas music began blaring obnoxiously loud. Finally, Tucker found himself stumbling before Santa’s Winter Wonderland. There was now a crowd of families lined up giving him strange looks. 

“Mom, what’s wrong with Santa?” Some little girl asked out loud.

“Hush now, that’s not Santa, just a young drunkard.” The mother turned her daughter back in line.  This little scene, however, had caused others to turn towards Tucker and ignored the various scared and annoyed looks of parents and children, and moved closer to the center. There were other elves keeping everyone in line. When did they even show up?

“There you are!” Nuzzles came out of nowhere to help stand Tucker up leading him back into the Gingerbread house. “What took you so long to come back, Don’t you know it’s Christmas eve?”

“What are you talking about? It’s December the 10^th.” Tucker managed to say as his vision coalesced. Nuzzles wasn’t listening and prattled on about ‘the children’ and ‘gifts’. Tucker never caught a word or Nuzzles rambling because he saw his full reflection in the mirror.  He walked closer not fully believing what he was seeing.  There was a hot man dressed up as Santa Claus, and that man was him. A few hours ago, he’d been standing in front of the mirror and there was no similarity to his current form. Before he’d barely been able to process it, but the full-length mirror gave him an image his mind couldn’t easily dismiss.

“How is this—”

“Santa, we do not have time for this, the kids are waiting.” Nuzzles got Tucker’s attention.

“I’m Santa?” Tucker pointed at himself, then slowly turned back to the mirror. Santa? That didn’t make sense, maybe someone’s hot dad pretending to be Santa. That’s when he noticed gray hairs taking over a large portion of his beard.

Nuzzles huffed and walked out of the gingerbread house leaving the door slightly ajar, “Everyone, Santa is almost ready to come out but. We’ve got to cheer him on.”

“Santa, Santa!” the children cried, then the parents joined in cheering for Santa, until it sounded like an entire chorus. 

Tucker tried to get a grip on reality, but his body hiked up even taller. His pecs developed so much in size it made the top half of the tank resemble a bra. Tucker’s shoulders turned into cannonballs that could maneuver the beefy arms that filed his sleeves. Modest abs for a hunk, grew wider and thicker, a form suited for power. Then there was his ass, which was on a mission to destroy the seat of his pants. Thankfully it never came to fruition as there always seemed to be enough room for expansion. 

While all those physical transformations were occurring, Tucker could barely hear himself think. The Christmas music, the chanting people, Nuzzles’ stupid voice, all of them overpower his thought process. Instead of noticing or focusing on his changes, Tucker’s thoughts slowly reflected the Christmas sentiment until that was all he could think about. In that instance any remaining hair with color faded to white. Tucker’s face aged by a few more decades, making him indistinguishable from any other grandpa in the mall. He opened his eyes and looked at his reflection in the mirror.

Tucker vanished the moment his eyes were locked, eyes were windows to the soul and whatever stared back wasn’t a college student. The new man seemed in awe of his physical appearance, until he got to his face. “Everyone knows Santa has a button nose,” he grumbled before using his massive right hand to squeeze his straight nose. There was a soft *pop* as the hand pulled away revealing the perfect nose. The words he said finally hit the man: He was Santa Claus. 

Nuzzles walked back into the house, “Santa, will you come—why do you look like a retired bodybuilder? Where’s the bowl full of jelly?” Nuzzles walked up and tapped Santa’s gut.

“Now be nice Nuzzles. Tucker is our helper this year.  He may have seemed like a Grinch at first, but he was worthy of helping me with the children this year. We shouldn’t judge lest we end up on my Naughty list.”  Santa studied the extremely hyper masculine form Tucker had ended up as.

“Fine, Santa but we have an image to maintain.”  Nuzzles ended up stuffing two pillows from the house’s closet into Santa’s jacket. The elf escorted the big man outside as all the attendees went crazy clapping. Santa walked over to his chair and prepared for the first kid to be sent his way.

It turned out, a Grinch could grow more than just their heart to restore Christmas joy in everyone.