Nothing Funny About It

 Originally posted on Tumblr: May 13 2023

 

“5…4…3…2…1, Happy New Year!” Riley and his dad high-fived each other watching the New year’s ball drop, in the comfort of their home. Mr. Fern disappeared into the kitchen before returning with two fancy glasses and a bottle of sparkling apple cider. He popped it open and poured a glass for him and his son.

“Any new year’s resolutions?” Mr. Fern asked his son, a warm smile on his face as he slid over the glass. “And please don’t say going to the gym. Too many say it and then don’t do it. If you’re going to try. Start in March or something.” They tipped their glasses and toasted.

“No nothing like that. I just want to do whatever.” Riley admitted.

“Do whatever, that’s it?! You’re going to be at college in a few months. You can be a little more specific. What’s whatever? Going to more parties? Talking to more girls–

“Dad–

“Or guys, or whomever. Whatever floats your boat. You know I don’t care about that.”

“You know, most parents don’t want to know everything their child does.” Riley sipped his glass.

Mr. Fern took a swig of his glass, and all its contents went down his throat.  He poured himself another class then refilled the little bit of Riley’s. He rubbed the back of Riley’s head as he walked back into the kitchen. “Excuse me, I forgot. You’re too cool for your old man now.”

Riley groaned internally. It’s not that he was TOO cool for his dad. It’s just his father…was so lame. Kind and considerate, yes! Supportive, 100%. But Mr. Fern was a corny mushy guy down to his soul. As a single dad, he was there for Riley, and that was the problem. He was ALWAYS there trying to be a #1 father of the year.  At Riley’s wrestling matches he’s the dad who would always cheer the loudest. When there was a party, he’d always remind Riley and his friends he’d be available all night if they needed a ride back home. 

It stressed Riley out that his dad couldn’t just be cool. Just not be in dad mode 100% of the time. No one else’s dad wore a ‘kiss the cook’ apron when grilling or talking about their garden. 

When Riley started wearing, black leather jackets to school and finally got his motorcycle license at the start of senior year, There was his dad telling him to wear shoulder and knee pads.  Honestly, “Why not just put a bib on my neck and a pacifier in my mouth.” Riley wanted to say at the time but knew better.

“Oh no,” Mr. Fern said from the kitchen 

Riley hopped out of his chair and went into the kitchen. “What’s wrong?”  

“We have to get rid of this calendar… its days…are numbered.” Mr. Ferm smiled as he flipped around their calendar, revealing it was from last year. 

“Not funny dad.”

“Oh, come on, that was hilarious.”

“It was such a dad joke.”

“You used to love my jokes.”

“Yeah, when I was like 10.”

Mr. Fern threw the calendar in the trash. “So, I guess my resolution to be a comedian is going to go to waste?”

“Don’t know dad, perhaps you should make a resolution to be funny first?” He said and paused. Riley’s words came out harsher than he meant, but Mr. Fern simply chuckled and said, “Fair enough.” Mr. Fern understood his son meant it as a playful joke. Riley went and sat back down as his dad came back out, and they watched the close of the New Year’s Eve event.

An hour later the two were headed upstairs, ready for bed. Riley trailed behind his father when Mr. Fern stopped mid-stairwell. He turned back to his son, “I’ve been thinking, when does a joke become a dad joke?”

Riley shrugged.

Mr. Fern grinned, “When it’s apparent!”

Rolling his eyes, Riley side stepped his dad. 

“Come on, that one was funny!” Mr. Fern said, trying not to laugh at his own joke and failing miserably.

Riley closed the door to his room. What was the explanation for it?  He’d seen the pictures. His dad had been THE high school quarterback. His dad’s old yearbook had tons of signatures. People loved him. Maybe there was a slight difference between jock-cool and the laid back- coolness that Riley- executed? Still his dad should have retained some of it. 

Even Riley’s mom and her partner Helen couldn’t pinpoint exactly when Mr. Fern’s change happened. His mom said her ex had always been that way and when Riley was born it just brought it out more. Riley didn’t get that statement. Was having a kid permission to be uncool? Though he’d never say it to his father’s face, his dad was a joke. But it seemed he always had been. There was a tingle on Riley’s lips as he let out a small laugh. In a way, his father was right, a joke became a dad joke, when it was a parent.

—

“And then he says, ‘when it’s apparent.’” Riley stated as there was an audible groan from his friends. He rested against his motorcycle, helmet in hand. His friends were gathered around listening to him share his woes. There was an Emi Lodson, resident stoner. He kept his brown hair under a beanie at all times, and his green eyes always had a slight daze. Bohdi, a soccer star and his girlfriend, Unique, were leaning on a car. Though it was more apt to say Bohdi was, as Unique was positioned over his lap. Hot Indian athlete and his beautiful black cheerleader girlfriend.  Lastly, there was Raúl Hendrix, the talented guitar player and singer of the group. He had a band and played around town often. Also, everyone tended to call him Hendrix because why not? Riley and he shared a love of black clothing attire that drew them together. However, Hendrix’s love of black was so strong he’d dyed his hair and painted his nails. Riley’s normal outfit was a simple black leather jacket over a white t-shirt with matching black jeans and black tennis shoes. This year they both had the same homeroom and cloud talk all they wanted.

“Where does your dad come up with this stuff?” Unique asked. 

“I know, right? I bet he has a dad joke book somewhere.” Riley added.

Hendrix snapped his fingers “When it becomes apparent! I just got it. That’s pretty funny. And the ‘calendar’s days are numbered…’ isn’t so bad either.” 

The morning school bell rang! It was time for everyone to make their way inside.

“Another day under the oppressive system of this fine educational institution.” Emil stated. 

“We’ll see you guys there.” Unique got off her boyfriend, then leaned over to kiss Riley on his right cheek. 

“What she said.” Bohdi leaned over and kissed Riley on his left cheek.

Unique grabbed Bohdi by the collar and pulled him the opposite direction of where the students were going. Riley certainly had an idea of what those two were going to do.

“Wait…seriously?” Emil eyed the disappearing couple then Riley, “When did that happen?” 

“It’s called a throuple. Oh, and about two weeks ago.” Riley said smugly as he grabbed his backpack and started making his way inside, Hendrix and Emil beside him. Actually, their sexcapade had been going far longer than that but Riley wasn’t going to tell them that. Countless students flooded the main entrance, slowly making their way inside. There was a cacophony of indistinguishable chatter. People were dedicated to moving sluggishly simply because it was the start of a school year. Emil kept throwing questions about Bohdi and Unique, while Riley could hear Hendrix stifling a laugh. 

Riley put a hand on Hendrix’s shoulder, “Hey, are you okay?”  His dad’s jokes might have deserved a chuckle, but they weren’t THAT funny.

“Yeah just, I really can’t get over it.” Hendrix said before making a gesture like he was swallowing his laugh down. He gave a straight face devoid of humor. “You guys coming to my set tonight?”

“Of course we are,” Emil answered, already knowing Riley’s response. “But we can’t ignore what we just saw. Riley’s out here bedding everyone.”

Their conversation was swallowed up by the morning grind. The hallways were warm in the school today. Someone had the sense to actually use the school heating system for once. 

In Riley and Hendrix’s homeroom things weren’t much better. The two boys were the first in there and sat in the back row next to each other. Soon other students were walking in, prattling on while the teacher was zonked out behind his desk. Everyone greeted Riley and he’d either give a quick handshake or nod. Being cool sometimes came with everyone looking towards you. Riley, however, would have preferred to be the cool silent kid in the background. Hendrix on the other hand was the opposite; he loved to talk, especially if saw a chance to promote his band. Which made it weird Hendrix hadn’t spoken at all, since they sat down.

Riley did a visual check turning his head to the right. Hendrix’s face was buried in his book bag sitting on his desk. His body was heaving. Was he crying? “Hey Hendrix,” Riley whispered. Hendrix poked his head up to show his right hand over his mouth. He was trying to keep himself from laughing still?!

“Are you still laughing at my dad’s jokes?” Riley asked

Hendrix nodded, removing his hand from his mouth, “They’re really funny when you think about it.” He was able to speak, but Riley could hear the hint of humor under every word. When Riley didn’t appear in agreement Hendrix rolled his eyes and tapped on the back of the kid in front of him. He turned around to face Hendrix.

“Hey, I’ve got a great joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.” Hendrix busted out laughing.

The boy chuckled and smirked but then turned to Riley and gave a ‘is he for real?’ look. Then he turned around ignoring the duo. Hendrix calmed himself as the rest of the homeroom went on. By the time it ended Hendrix raced out of there. Nothing new there, he probably had plans to spend his free periods in the cafeteria. The other boy shook his head and muttered, “Still working on it. That’s brilliant.” He slung his backpack on his back and was gone. 

When lunch came for him, Riley couldn’t wait, he was starving. His first free period was at 10, too early for lunch. Then he didn’t have another until 2:00pm. His crew had compared their schedules over break and a few of their free periods did line up, but Riley couldn’t care about that now, he made a beeline for the lunch line. By the time he was at the end he was already devouring his food.

“Over here!” Bohdi shouted. Riley spun his feet, then bit into his sandwich as he walked over. Emil sat next to Bohdi and had his head on the lunch table sleeping, while Riley spotted Unique sitting at another table with more girls. Riley sat down across from his friends, then he dove into his food. 7 mins in it was mostly gone.

The chair next to Riley pulled out and the ground shook a little when the person sat down. Riley turned his head to see who had caused the small tremor only to be met with Hendrix. Except he looked different. Not only because he was in his gym uniform. He had muscles! Not a lot of size to him but it looked like someone had packed some meat on his bones. Or perhaps the short sleeve shirt he was wearing was too small.

“Have you been working out behind our backs?” Riley playfully squeezed Hendrix’s bicep expecting it to smush even a little, but it did not give way. The muscle instead firmed up as if in resistance. Riley applied a bit more pressure but there was no amount of flab.

“Looks good, doesn’t it?” Hendrix winked. He did a double bicep pose for his friends. 

“Why are you wearing gym clothes?” Bohdi asked.

Hendrix put down his arms with a frown, “Okay don’t laugh at me, but when I was in third period my pants ripped. I thought my pants had been a little tight before that. Then, while I was in Spanish class my pants just went RIPPPPP. I thought everyone heard it but no one turned to look at me.”

“The universe is telling you: Don’t take Spanish class for the easy grade when you already speak it. Or this is what happens when you wear skinny jeans to look like a rockstar?” Bohdi said.

“I don’t wear skinny jeans, I wear jeans, and I just happen to be skinny. “Hendrix responded. Though Riley noted Hendrix hadn’t denied the first half of Bohdi’s statement.

“You, skinny?” Bohdi’s eyes went wide. “Not with the way you’ve been hogging the machines in the weight room after school.”

Riley agreed with Bohdi. He couldn’t even remember a time when Hendrix could be considered skinny. When they all got to high school muscles just poured into Hendrix beefing him up. Teachers would often mistake him for an upperclassman. The students thought he was the school’s linebacker, although he frequently brought his guitar. Riley’s eyes drifted down to Hendrix’s thighs. They were well developed and—

Riley’s train of thought was interrupted. It only lasted a split second, but he could have sworn Hendrix thighs had just grown. He was staring and then they had doubled in size. Before they had been comfortably contained in the gym shorts, but now the shorts were tighter. 

“Yeah, I guess I do work out a lot,” Hendrix stated. 

Workout? Did Hendrix work out? Sure, Riley had just been thinking the opposite, but his mind, unable to decode what it had just seen, was having trouble accepting it now. People don’t just grow. And hadn’t Bohdi been the one who brought up the skinny jeans, then talked about muscle?

“Ooo,ooo” Hendrix banged on the lunch table excitedly, even catching the attention of some of the other guys at the table.  “You guys are going to love this! The bank keeps calling me to give me compliments…. They say I have an ‘outstanding balance.’” Hendrix laughed and a couple of other boys snorted. Riley was only half listening, bringing his eyes up to pretend he was invested. Though the moment his eyes lowered he saw thighs blown up to the size of huge ham hocks. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

“Man, that joke was weak.” Bohdi stated, “Riley, give us one of your dad’s other jokes to show Hendrix how it’s done. He can at least tell a good lame joke.”

“Oh um,” Riley perked his head up.

“Putting poor Riles on the spot?” Emil stated, with a smug grin, “Is this because him, you, and Unique are like a throuple?” Emil only used that stupid nickname for Riley when he had something up his sleeve.

Bohdi rolled his eyes, not dignifying Emil’s statement with a response. A throuple wasn’t that unheard of in this day in age.

“My dad loves saying this one, ‘I used to hate facial hair…but then it grew on me’.” As Riley expected, Hendrix laughed on cue. What he didn’t expect was for a giant laugh to escape Bohdi’s mouth. Bohdi quickly covered his hand over his mouth. 

“Aww even laughing at your boyfriend’s terrible jokes.” Emil was reveling in his new knowledge. Riley softly elbowed him in the ribs, as a sign to cut it out. 

“It wasn’t that funny,” Bohdi said in a low voice as if he was talking to himself. Then his hand was back over his mouth preventing another giggle.

“Nonsense! Riley’s hilarious.” Hendrix slapped Riley on the back. His palm was so strong the momentum sent Riley forward straight into the table. Riley’s face planted into the table and the students who witnessed it laughed. Picking his head up, Riley touched his nose that felt a little sore.

“Hey, that’s not cool!” Emil said, taking on a much more serious cadence, eyes hardening at Hendrix.  All the light-heartedness he had talking to Bohdi vanished.

“Yeah, friends don’t do that.” Bohdi had found reprieve as even his laughing fit was killed by the anger behind his eyes. 

“What, no guys I didn’t do that on purpose. I pat Riley on the back all the time.” Hendrix stopped and looked at his hands. “Maybe…I forgot my own strength.” 

Riley wasn’t upset. NO in fact he was staring at the same thing Hendirx was. Hendrix’s palms were massive. They didn’t look like hands that belonged to a high school senior. Hendrix’s hands were more fitted to a professional baseball catcher. Hands wide enough to encapsulate the entirety of another human’s head. The two boys locked eyes. There was a quiet understanding between them.

“Riley, I’m sorry. Let me take you to the nurse.” Hendrix offered. He stood up and his body shot towards the sky. The growth started from his legs, as inches simply appeared, then his spine followed suit separating the hem of his shirt from the shorts waistband.  Riley’s mouth dropped open, and he turned to look at his friends. No one said anything. 

“Okay,’ Riley stood up.

“First, you’re telling bad jokes now, you’re taking him to the nurse. Didn’t know there was another Mr. Fern at school.” Emil said, easing up on their friend. 

“No need to make things up though,” Bohdi added. “We know you’ve been working those arms since middle school.” When Bohdi spoke those words Hendrix’s arms began to pump up. Before they had simply contained mass on account of how large he was. Now, however, his biceps triceps and shoulder muscles seemed to dance under his skin contorting. They were sculpting themselves into shape, creating their own definition.

“Heh, yeah I guess I have.”  Hendrix stated.

“Don’t forget that massive rack, either. People can see your chest coming from a mile away.” Emil said happily. Hendrix’s chest pushed out the exact moment the email was done speaking. His borrowed gym shirt was under attack from his upper body.

“Let’s go to the nurse now.” Riley cut his friends off, standing up.

“Right!” Hendrix’s attention shifted. He stepped closer to Riley and put his hands on the side of Riley’s head. Hendrix softly maneuvered it looking for any scrapes or bruising. “Nothing too bad.”

“Hendrix, I already have one dad. I don’t need another.” Riley stated. Hendrix stepped back embarrassed and headed out the cafeteria as Riley grabbed his book bag and followed him out.  Riley did briefly wonder where Hendrix’s book bag was. He had noticed it at the lunch table. 

As they walked down the hallway, Hendrix led the way. Riley walked behind with a full view of his friend. Oddly, Hendrix took up most of the hallway when he walked down the middle of it. His shoulders began to tremble as Riley heard the same stifled laughter from. Hendrix slightly turned his head back, “Riley, Did you hear about the man who was buried alive… It was a GRAVE mistake.” During the punch line Hendrix’s voice took a deep dive into low octaves. When Hendrix laughed at the joke Riley noticed Hendrix’s voice wasn’t going back either.  

Riley had been happy to get out of the lunchroom. It appeared as if their friends were causing Hendrix to change with every word they spoke. However, now that they were out the changes hadn’t stopped. Riley’s eyes wandered Hendrix’s back down to his ass. It was rather flat for someone who was built like a tank everywhere else.

Hendrix stopped walking as he shot and ar out to rest it against the lockers. Riley, not paying attention, walked right into his back. Hendrix didn’t budge an inch. When they collided, there was a muffled POP-like sound as Riley was physically pushed back by a bubble butt that appeared on his friend.

Mouth agape, Riley had no idea what to say. Did he make an ass appear on Hendrix with a thought? it wasn’t just an ass. It was a man’s ass big, breathtaking, and bodacious. Riley knew a great ass when he saw one and Hendrix had it. Half of Hendrix’s ass cheeks were hanging out of the gym shorts, while the rest were being swallowed up between his buns. Hendrix reached back and tried to pull the shorts out of his crack. There was only a little the fabric could provide him with booty shorts. Then again, hadn’t Hendrix always been this way? Blessed with a huge backside. It let everyone know he was a man. No, it was further than that people knew he was a–

Riley shook his head, “You grew. You changed.” he found himself able to say it. His thoughts were trying to convince him it had always been the case. But he knew better. And once he said it. The voice in his head saying otherwise stopped. 

“I…I think I did.” Hendrix admitted, “but it doesn’t feel like I did. As a matter of fact, I think I’ve always been this way.” Hendrix said those words and turned to face Riley. Hendrix’s stature had changed. There was confidence carrying himself. He took his hand off the lockers, revealing a slight dent.

Hendrix looked like he had stepped right out of the 1980’s with his clothes. Though they were the standard gym uniform they now resembled a crop top and short shorts. It left Hendrix’s midsection on full display, where abs had taken residence. Riley hadn’t even noticed when that happened. “Come on, to the nurse’s office kid.” Hendrix waved his hand, spinning on his feet, ass pretty much out. Thankfully no one else was around to see the shameless display. Not that they’d notice. 

When they got to the nurse’s office. She wasn’t there. No surprise… Why did school nurses always seem to be gone when students need them? 

“You should lay on the bed,” Hendrix suggested. Riley did as suggested. His head was pounding not from pain, but from trying to understand the situation. As he laid his head on the pillow he turned to Hendrix. His friend’s face was sitting on some foreign body. A man’s body. Well not just a man’s body. There was another word his mind was looking for but couldn’t grasp. 

Hendrix suddenly gripped the side of the metal chair he was sitting in, spreading out his legs. Riley would have asked what was happening, but he could see it! Right in the epicenter, between Hendrix legs a bulge was forming. It became so prominent Riley could make out the outline of Hendrix’s penis. Completely flaccid at first all, Riley could do was marvel at its size. Hendrix’s manhood demanded more room, but the school gym shorts had nothing else to give. Once Hendrix cock started to get hard it was game over. A dark forest of pubes was revealed as his pants and underwear were pulled down by the length of his cock. A cock which seemed to point directly at Riley.

Meanwhile Hendrix’s hands had released their grip on the chair and wandered up to his chest. Roaming under his shirt, his fingers had quickly found his nipples. “Mmmm…” Hendrix’s moans got lower as his testicles continued to develop. His Adam’s apple bobbed against his thickening throat. Hendrix leaned his head back over the chair, out of Riley’s view, just as his face began to morph. Viens rose to the surface of Hendrix’s neck pulsing and pumping blood. Each pulse caused Hendrix’s jaw to stretch wider and grow. His chin took on a strong box shape. 

Two glorious pecs popped out the underside of the gym shirt. They hadn’t even been aided by Hendrix’s hands; their sheer size had forced the shirt to ride up. Both nipples were pointed downward, leading the focus back to Hendrix’s cock. There were a few strands of hair poking out between the middle of his pecs. As Hendrix played with his nipples, the few chest hairs turned into more. The hair spread out taking over his pecs, covering them. Next, hair appeared in the divide between the abs and crawled down to his waist. 

SNAP

Whatever elasticity Hendrix’s underwear held, it had finally been defeated, though the shorts were still hanging strong. “THIS FEELS SO…GOOD,” Hendrix said between heavy breaths. 

Riley didn’t know what to say, “Is this a prank?” He asked, “Some joke?” Why would his friends pull a trick on him and why make it so hot? 

Hendrix lifted his head back up. His boyish features were wiped clean. There was only the strong visage of a man. His black hair had become stylized and slicked back, with one curl hanging down. He took his right hand off his nipple and grabbed his entire right peck. “Oh, I’m definitely a joke. A big, fucking joke.” It sounded sexy, but Hendrix had a goofy grin on his face. The man rolled his hips a few times before his cock pistoned through and the short’s seam ripped apart completely leaving him pantless. “But what kind of joke am I?”

A sexy one. Is what Riley wanted to say, yet he knew that wasn’t the answer Hendrix desired. What kind of joke was Hendrix? He was large, handsome, powerful, and in charge. He was a manly joke through and through.  A great set up with a strong punchline. A man’s joke. A man. No a–

“Dad?” Riley answered unsure.

Hendrix gave a smirk; Riley had got it right, “Not just yet.” Hendrix reached down and began stroking his cock. “Tell me again Riley, when does a joke become a dad joke?”

Riley stammered as he watched the shameless display in front of him, unable to question it. Not that he truly even wanted to. “When it’s…,” Hendrix’s grip got tighter as he stroked faster, “it’s… it’s,” Riley couldn’t get it out. Hendrix lifted his ass off the seat, stroking himself several inches above it. “A…a,” the words in Riley’s mind refused to come just so he could watch longer.

Hendrix stood up kicking the chair off to the side. He strolled over to the nurse’s bed. A strong Latino –MAN now– stood beside Riley jacking off. If he was a joke, he wanted to know how he’d get to the next level? Riley knew that was the question Hendrix wanted answered. He could see the desire and want in Hendrix’s eyes. 

Hendrix needed to hear it. He was so much of everything a man but was missing one vital piece in this specific equation. He wasn’t a dad. And to be a dad he needed to be…

“Apparent.” 

A deep laugh came out of Hendrix. Cum fired out of his cock and hit Riley square in the face. It kept cumming. Thick heavy loads. Try as Riley might, he couldn’t wipe it off. All he could hear was Hendrix’s laughter as everything went white, before fading to black.

Riley dreamed. He dreamed of a black void. All he could hear was Hendrix’s adult male voice repeating, “When does a joke become a dad joke?”

Somewhere in that endless, yet strangely soothing loop, Hendrix’s voice was joined by another. The second voice was familiar and warm. Hendrix’s voice faded as Riley heard his dad repeating the joke with the punchline clear in his head.

Then Riley woke up in the nurse’s office. He tried to remember why he was there. Hendrix had slammed his face into the table pretty hard. That part was clear. They walked to the office. Then what? Riley saw his book bag in the corner, but none of Hendrix’s things. Did the dude just leave him here? He couldn’t even wait for the nurse to show up?! What if Riley had a concussion or something? Riley got out of the bed grabbing his book bag and walking out. He was definitely going to chew him out for that.

Riley thought he’d have to rush to class, but it was still his free period. Had any time passed since he went to the nurse’s office? What time DID he leave the lunchroom to go to the nurses office? He stormed out and headed back to the cafeteria. He found Bohdi and Emil still sitting at the lunch table, except Emil was now sitting across from Bohdi. Riley grunted to himself, he probably had hit his head harder than expected if he couldn’t even remember the seating arrangement.

He slammed his book bag on the ground and sat next to a laughing Bohdi. His friends turned to face him. 

“What’s up with you?” Emil asked, raising his head off the table. “Your face looks like it got stuck sucking on sour candy.”

“Oh hardy-har.” Riley said dryly. “Freaking Hendrix left me in the nurse’s office by myself and I passed out.”

“Let me guess, the nurse tried to claim you were there to skip class when you woke up. Don’t worry, it happened to me before too.” Bohdi interjected. 

“What? No, she wasn’t even there. I’m upset because I hit my head and could have been seriously hurt and Hendrix left me.”

“You keep saying, Hendrix.” Emil sat up in his chair. “Who is that? Are they a new student?”

“Hendrix.” Riley stated. His friend’s faces showed no change or acknowledgement. “Come on guys, Raul Hendrix? Plays the guitar, family from Venezuela, he wears a lot of black.”

“Dude, the only Hendrix we know is Francisco Hendrix. And no one calls him ‘Hendrix’…that’s just weird man.” Emil commented. His eyes went to Bohdi, “I think your boyfriend hit his head harder than he knows, you should kiss it and make it better.” He gave a shit eating grin.

Riley got the notion his friends were subtly telling him he was taking it too seriously. Why else would Emil harp back on the throuple thing. Other than the fact, Emil could be a lil shit sometimes. Riley threw his hands up, “Fine, maybe I’m up my own ass.” He grabbed his book bag, sat it on his lap and sunk his face in the back of it.  Turning his head slightly, he asked Bohdi, “What were you laughing about before I came in?”

“Your terrible kissing skills.” Emil said.

Bohdi picked a piece of food off his plate and flung it at Emil. Though Riley couldn’t see it he heard Emil’s “HEY!” 

“Ignore him.” Bohdi turned back to Riley, “When you walked in, I just started thinking of that joke you said.”

Riley arched his eyebrow, “The ‘apparent’ one from this morning?”

“No, no”, Bohdi waved his hand dismissively. “The facial hair one. It really got to me for some reason.?

That joke? That was funny? Riley didn’t get it. What was with his friends finding his dad’s jokes funny. He could admit his dad might have a solid good joke once or twice a month but most of the time they laughed at the absurdity of the jokes, how obvious the punchline was etc. To engage with a joke this earnestly wasn’t really their thing.

Someone slammed their lunch tray on the table, next to Riley. Riley jumped in response and looked up to see a pissed off student wearing a football jersey. It was the school’s jersey and the guy filled out every inch of it. He wasn’t just a fan of the team he was ON the team. Riley was sure of it. The strange student slammed his ass, quite the eye catcher Riley noted, onto the seat.

“Fucking, Ms. Morrison gave me detention.” The guy said.

“For what?” Emil asked. That got Riley to raise his eyebrows. He’d never known Emil to talk to any jock that wasn’t Bohdi, unless it was about his recreational services. Emil always said it was easier to deal with student athletes if he didn’t have to actually interact with them at school.

“Don’t laugh, but she thinks I purposefully asked to go to the bathroom, solely to skip her class.”

“Did you?” Bohdi asked 

Now Riley was confused. He may not have known all of Emil’s “clients,” but he certainly knew Bohdi’s athlete friends. Riley had never once seen this guy. 

“Let’s chalk it up to ‘weird shit that happened today’” Emil chuckled before pointing to Riley. “He claimed you left him in the nurse’s office…oh wait I’m sorry not YOU Francisco, but some other Hendrix.”

Riley was stunned to hear Emil’s words but when he turned to look at the stranger’s face something clicked. No, he certainly wasn’t the Hendrix in the nurse’s office. The football player’s face was too squarish and strong for the image Riley had in mind. The kid in Riley’s mind was lean with a thinner face dressed in dark clothes. Francisco however had on his sky blue and white football jersey and blue jeans. 

The other Hendrix, whose first name was escaping Riley at the moment, wouldn’t be caught dead in bright colors. Something was definitely off. There was something almost androgynous about the other Hendrix, where Francisco was undoubtedly masculine.

But hadn’t Francisco always been that way? He got it from his dad. Just another sign that amazing genes should always be envied. Francisco and his dad were filling Riley’s mind, pushing the mystery Hendrix to the background. Francisco’s dad was…was… wait, what was Hendrix dad’s full name? Riley felt he was on the verge of connecting a thought.

“Are you guys still coming to my dad’s show tonight?”  Francisco asked. Riley figured Francisco was purposefully ignoring Emil’s remark. It sounded like he was waiting for someone to take the bait and Francisco swerved on him. 

“Of course, I don’t want to miss that. After all, Riley’s sleeping at my house after the show.” 

Emil’s mouth dropped, “You know what that mean.”’ he wiggled his eyebrow before receiving a swift elbow, courtesy of Bohdi, to the ribs.

—

The rest of the day went on like a daze. Riley knew he had gone to class, finished up the school day. He returned home and had a talk with his dad. They watched some TV together. Riley even did his homework to enjoy the rest of the night to the fullest. Yet Riley could not recall a single concrete detail. What had his teachers gone over? Him and his dad hung out, did his dad tell another dad joke? Heck, what did Riley even write for his homework?

Then Riley found himself at the music venue. It wasn’t until he walked through the doors he felt like himself again. The place looked more like an upscale cafe. A real hipster type area. Men and women, dressed for some poetry type reading. Riley had expected a rock concert. Who knows why? Mr. Hendrix wasn’t that type of guy. 

“Hey, over here!” Bohdi’s voice called out in the crowd. Riley smiled upon spotting Bohdi, with his arm around Unique. There were a few glares at Bohdi’s shouting, but the teens ignored it.  As they closed the distance Bohdi was laughing while Unique rolled her eyes.

“Please stop telling him dad jokes. He’s been repeating them all afternoon.” the tired expression on Unique’s face said it all. “He even just said one at the table with everyone else.”

“Emil appreciated it at least and didn’t embellish.’ It was Bohdi’s turn to roll his eyes. “I told her three jokes. Including the one at the table”

“Four!” Unique stuck up a finger, “Five if you consider the fact you told me the facial hair one twice.”

“Did I? My bad It’s just so funny I must have forgot.” Bohdi said.

“Guess we’ll have to put my dad in pun jail for crimes against comedy,” Riley kissed Unique on the cheek, but before he could kiss Bohdi he stopped. There was a little discoloration mark on Bohdi’s cheek. 

“You got a little something right here,” Riley wiped, but the mark didn’t disappear; it spread. in fact it was on the other cheek as well. The darkened area wasn’t on his skin but under it. 

“Did you get it?” Bohdi asked. He must have noticed Riley’s eyes move across his face, because then Bohdi dragged his hands along both sides down to his chin. “Better?”

 Unique looked at Bohdi, “I don’t see anything.”

Riley realized that was probably because Bohdi had spread the entire thing across his cheeks and skin. Bohdi leaned forward and kissed Riley on the lips. Riley laughed as he felt a prickle against his face. When Bohdi pulled back, he had a very visible 5’o o'clock shadow. It clicked, the dark marks were hundreds of black hair follicles under Bohdi’s skin. Which of course he had. It was only natural for boys on the journey to becoming men to have such an obvious sign of burgeoning masculinity.

That wasn’t right. Bohdi’s face was smoother than a baby’s ass. He didn’t even grow peach fuzz yet. There was no way he could be sporting darker than that. Though the longer Riley looked, the more he was disproved, as if Bohdi’s facial hair gene had activated all at once. 

“Hey, don’t leave me out.” Unique grabbed Bohdi from under his chin, turning him towards her as they made out. Riley got a better view as now he could see scruff on Bohdi’s face as they made out. Was Unique really not going to say anything? Couldn’t she feel that against her face?

“Let’s go sit with the others,” Unique said, finally pulling away. Riley didn’t know the others were already there and followed the couple towards the front of the venue. Emil and Francisco were sitting at a table with a few of Unique’s girlfriends.

“Geezus, we all thought you guys were going to start fucking on the floor.” Francisco smiled and gave Riley a bro-hug.  Riley had to admit; he was surprised it wasn’t Emil who had gone for the joke. When he glanced and could see the smug look on Emil’s face though, a real ‘see I’m not the only one’s look.

There weren’t enough seats for everyone so Unique opted to sit in Bohdi’s lap.

The lights in the venue dimmed leaving one spotlight with a mic and stool. Mr. Hendrix stepped out of the darkness and into the stage’s light, wooden guitar in hand.  He placed it on his body as people cheered, and a few snapped their fingers. This was not the atmosphere Riley expected. He thought the cheering would be a bit wilder and the people less cultured. Why, though? 

Mr. Hendrix took a quick look behind him, as if he expected other people to be there. However, his band wasn’t here tonight, it was his solo show, and everyone knew he was famous enough to carry the spotlight on his own. Or rather take up the spotlight. The shadow he cast on the stage’s backdrop was immense just like his body. Hair neatly combed and slicked with a curl hanging down. It was a familiar look to Riley; made it ponder then it hit him. Mr. Hendrix looked like a handsome Hispanic superman. That strong jawline of his, recently shaven of its black stubble, only furthered that image. 

Mr. Hendrix may have had the body and posture of superman, but his clothing style was more reminiscent of Clark Kent.  He came out in a white cashmere turtleneck sweater that hugged his body tightly. His biceps pushed the sleeve to its limits, but it was really his chest where one could see the wide berth his pecs needed to simply exist. It appeared as if his body threatened to burst through with every movement, but the sweater never gave way. Then there were his brown Khaki’s that truly displayed his ass, like the proper shelf it was. Mr. Hendrix sat back on the stool letting one foot stay connected to the stage. 

“This first number goes out to my son.”  Mr. Hendrix spoke into the mike.

“Dadddd.” Francisco whined from the audience.

Mr. Hendrix smirked. That was exactly the reaction he was aiming for. He began strumming along his guitar. His voice was smooth and calm. Throughout the song Riley looked back and forth between father and son. They had a lot of similarities. The strong face, muscles, easy to see what Mr. Hendrix had passed down. 

The only thing throwing the song off was Bohdi’s chuckle at Hendrix’s interaction. It didn’t go away even after the audience laughter died down. Though even Emil gave an extra chuckle. Bodhi kept it light, but it was easy to hear for the people at the table. Bohdi squirmed in his seat. Small at first but then stealing Riley’s attention away from whatever puzzle Riley’s mind was trying to solve about Mr. Hendrix. Only made more obvious, by the displeasure on Unique’s face as her ‘seat’ couldn’t stay comfortable. 

“Sorry, I have to go to the bathroom.” Bohdi quickly got up and let her have the chair. Unique motioned for Riley to follow him. Though Riley would have preferred to continue his own internal debate of how hotter Mr. Hendrix could be if he dressed sexier.

When Riley got to the restroom, he found Bohdi standing in the middle of it trying to unfasten his pants. “What are you doing?” Riley stepped inside.

“My nut’s, it’s like Unique was crushing them.” Bohdi complained as he pushed down his pants. His boxer briefs came into view, red with a navy-blue waistband, properly displaying his bulge.

“Well, there’s your problem,’ Riley sauntered over. “Your underwear is too small. Look at how it’s bunched up.” He stuck his fingers up the leg holes of Bodhi’s underwear and pulled them down. However, Bodhi’s thighs wouldn’t allow them to stretch down any further, so it rolled back up  “They look tighty-whities. Your dick is taking up most of the room. Why would you put on small underwear anyway?”

“Dude, I swear it was fine this morning.” Bohdi stated. 

Riley grabbed the waistband and tugged his underwear down. Bohdi’s cock came spilling out and Bohdi threw his head back, in relief. No more tightness. Riley was trying to figure something out. He could have sworn Bohdi was hard, but the cock in front of him was entirely soft. No, he had to be seeing things. Riley dropped to his knees. He had seen Bohdi’s cock even more than Emil and Francisco could probably even guess. There was no doubt Bohdi’s cock was larger–Riley took it in his hands–heavier too. Then there were Bohdi’s balls. They were larger, lower, and hairier. 

Cupping them in his hand, Riley studied them. At once they both pulsed in his hand and grew larger. Riley fell back on his ass, shocked.

“What–What the fuck was that?!” Bohdi had been watching. Before he could go on a rant, Bohdi snapped his eyes and started to moan. “My balls, they’re so full, what is this!” Bohdi’s nuts grew again and dragged his sack down. “Oh my god, it’s too much.”

“Too much what?” Riley asked, warily getting back to his feet.

“Testosterone!” Bohdi called out. On cue Bohdi began to grow. In the fucking bathroom. His legs changed first, starting with his thighs getting thicker, then they elongated, evening him out. Bodhi’s arms followed suit as veins from his bicep to his hands pumped growth across his body. His muscles danced and gyrated underneath the skin seeking room for expansion. And when it couldn’t find it, simply willed more space into existence.

Bohdi’s pubic hair bloomed into a proper bush. Hair began to appear on his forearms, then thighs, and Riley was sure it went lower beneath his pants. Bodi’s facial hair continued to grow throughout the process. A small mustache formed quickly poofed out denser, until he had a month’s worth of a  full beard. 

Riley slowly walked towards Bohdi. How did facial hair just appear on a person? Riley was getting a strong sense of Deja vu. Every fiber of his being was telling him to run away because of that, but Riley refused. This was the boy he loved. Riley was going to stay. He gently reached out and grabbed Bohdi’s right hand which was still growing in size. 

Bohdi slowly opened his eyes and saw Riley. The growth stopped. The two smile at each other before Bohdi spotted the large boner Riley was sporting. “What happened?” Riley asked, looking at himself, especially his larger cock and balls hanging about. 

“You grew. In fact, you look like a college kid now. Riley had witnessed Bodhi go from twunk to otter in a matter of minutes. Riley lifted Bohdi’s shirt slightly, there was hair growing up his abs and around his pecs. Speaking of which, they had nearly doubled in size. Riley found himself subconsciously grabbing at them. 

The two locked eyes with each other. Strange, Bohdi had a few inches on Riley now. They had always circled the same height growing up, then able to kiss each other directly. However, the soccer star was 6’0 ft now, if not over. Riley though found himself moving his lips closer to Bohdi’s until the two were kissing. There was an immense masculine energy radiating from Bohdi that Riley couldn’t pull away from. He was drawn into it like a black hole. They kissed and made out.

A laugh Riley’s laugh. Bohdi looked at him curiously. “Your beard tickles dude.” Riley knew Bohdi had never had a beard, but he also sensed Bohdi always had. But why would Riley laugh at how weird it felt to kiss a guy with a beard if Bodhi had always had one. The two boys looked at each other again and they both laughed. 

What were they doing, standing in a public restroom on the verge of having sex. This was neither the time nor the place. It was just too funny, that’s what the boys realized.

Bohdi put his shirt down, pulled up his pants, and tucked his cock away. Riley stepped towards the door to make sure the coast was clear. 

“Fuck, I look like my dad,” Bohdi moved in front of the bathroom mirror to examine his new beard. Riley noticed Bodi’s pants hadn’t been fastened, impossible with the increase in body mass.

“Please, your dad isn’t this hot,” Riley turned around.

“Can you take me home? I don’t want Unique to see me like this.”

“Okay, I’ll text them: you aren’t feeling well,” Riley said. The two snuck out from the bathroom to the outside of the venue with Bodhi leading. Riley took one last look at Mr. Hendrix singing on stage. A huge man, bulging in such a nice-looking sweater and pants, all while singing. Who would even believe that it sounded ridiculous? So comical, a joke. But what a handsome joke. The door to the venue shut. 

Riley walked to his motorcycle where Bohdi was waiting.  Riley went into his lockable panniers and retrieved his helmets. The two put on their safety wear and were off. For Riley it was a strange sensation, having such a larger guy behind him. While they were making their way back, Riley could have sworn Bohdi continued to grow while wrapped around him. Bohdi’s grip got stronger, tighter and his frame encompassed Riley completely. 

 They reached Bohdi’s house, and as they walked to the front door, removed their helmets.

Bohdi led the way, keys in hand “Next time, don’t you think we should wear knee pads and elbow pads too?” He stood by his side, so he was half facing Riley.

Riley snickered, “Who are you, my dad? I only wear those if I know I’m driving really fast. Nowhere in town is worth putting those things on. Heck, let’s be happy I even wear the helmet with the neck pain and how it limits my head movement.” 

“Yeah, well still I think it’d be safer…” He turned his key and pushed the door open. Bodhi was only inside a moment before Riley was on him, their lips locked. Riley had moved Bodhi further back in with a soft hand on chest. Once satisfied with the distance, that hand clenched into a fist grabbing Bodi’s shirt and that pulled him down into the kiss. Riley used one of his legs to kick the front door close. They let their helmets fall to the ground. Riley did flinch internally at that. Shit was expensive. But he was also too horny to act on it now. Normally, Riley and Bohdi couldn’t keep their hands off each other when alone, but tonight everything was cranked up. These weren’t normal teen hormones. Bodhi didn’t even look like a teen anymore. He was a true young man. 

“Maybe it’s young adult hormones then?” Riley thought laughing in his head. That laughter found its way out as Riley couldn’t take the endless face mashing with Bhodi’s beard. He put his hands on the side of Bodi’s face holding him away. “Okay this has to go,” he ran a finger along Bohdi’ beard.”

“You mean shave it, now?” Bohdi asked, eyes going wide. Then his voice went low “but I’ve never shaved before.”

There was a twinkle in Riley’s eye. He was no expert, but he knew his way around the basics. Soon he had them doth down to their underwear standing in Bohdi’s upstairs bathroom. The two poked and prodded each other, causing giggles. An act of true teenage boys only betrayed by Bodhi’s manly visage. Bohdi was filling up his underwear the same as before, it wanted release. 

Riley, however, was being too much of a coy horndog. He wanted to look, but not go there, at least not yet.

Bohdi had his own unused razor tucked away in the bathroom cabinet.  Bohdi claimed he’d never seen it before. Riley wasn’t fooled that easily, his boyfriend had nothing to be embarrassed about if he hadn’t grown hair before. Though it didn’t make any sense that Bohdi had always had a razor, after all he was a hairy dude. Riley felt his thoughts drifting, he shook his head. That made no fucking sense, after all it was a new razor. Riley knew him and Unique we’re going to have a laugh about this.

Riley told Bohdi the basics. Then Riley found himself to be the one applying shaving cream all over Bodhi’s cheeks. An extremely foamy brand. Riley couldn’t help but go a little crazy. Bodhi was soon sporting a faux-vicking beard made out of shave cream. Riley’s eyes drifted down, the hair on Bodhi’s chest looked like it had spread out more, but that was ridiculous. A trick of the light, no doubt.  Riley brought the razor up to Bodhi’s face and began to shave. They tried not to look each other in the eyes; Riley didn’t want to accidentally nick Bohdi. Any eye contact would evolve into laughter, maybe at the intimacy of the act, or at the fact Riley’s hard cock was pressed up against Bohdi’s inner thigh, pointed straight forward. Riley’s black boxer briefs were tented, testing the elasticity. Neither boy said, one thing as they let their cocks graze each other’s bodies. When they were the same height, their cocks would practically kiss each other. Things were different now. Riley pressed his hips forward pretending he was unaware, Bohdi spread his legs slightly and let Riley’s cock slide in between his thighs. 

The distance was absurd for shaving, but the boys knew it was just an excuse at this point. Riley tried hard not to think about how he could feel Bohdi’s heavy balls and cock rested on his boner. Riley carefully dragged the razor along Bohdi’s cheek. As the foam came off, Riley was surprised by what he saw underneath. Hidden under the foam, there was a jawline, sharp enough to challenge the razor.  Riley looked to the other side, He had been so busy dry humping Bohdi, he failed to notice him and the razor had sculpted a new lower face. Gone were Bohdi’s round head and cherub features; now he had a more rectangular look to his head. 

Riley stared at the razor in his hand. The foam on the ground. The sink. Where was the beard hair? 

“Holy shit is that, me?” Bohdi stepped toward the mirror, he leaned forward resting his right hand against the sink, while his left one examined his face. “Feels like I haven’t seen this face forever. Smooth as a baby’s bottom.” His finger ran along the left side of his jaw, then the right. He stuck out his tongue, contorted his eyebrow, testing his face. Then Bohdi’s voice came out low, as if speaking to himself, “I used to hate to like facial hair then it…” he didn’t finish the statement. He simply smiled at his reflection.

The way Bohdi was positioned his ass stuck out a bit, and with the talk of bottoms, Riley’s hand slowly pulled down the back of Bohdi’s underwear. Two asscheeks spilled into the world. Once formerly haireless, now sported a fair dusting of it. Riley didn’t care about that though. He loved their new size, their immensity. 

Bohdi turned his head to look at Riley behind him. The Indian stud gave a knowing smirk and cocked his head toward the shower. “Want to continue this there? You can do my chest next.” At once Bohdi’s body grew all over, as if someone had squeezed a pump to inflate his muscles equally.  Thank god they were in a decently sized bathroom.

The entire sight was transferred straight to Riley’s dick, “I’LL GET THE LUBE!” He ran–stumbled– out of the bathroom scrambling to Bohdi’s room to find it. When he got to Bohdi’s room, he thought something was off; felt larger than it should have been. No time to worry about it. Where was the lube? That was the question.  For one, it wasn’t on the king-sized bed with the dark oak headboard and footboard.

Riley sucked his teeth; he could have sworn he threw it on the covers before they headed to the bathroom. He must have been mistaken thinking of something else.  The lube laying on a twin mattress with a simple pinewood frame was perfectly stored in his head. But that didn’t fit reality. Riley stepped up to the bed and threw back the purple comforter. Playing with it between his fingers, he could tell it was soft as a cloud. The sheets underneath were perfectly undisturbed. Riley put the comforter back down. He never noticed how expensive Bodhi’s room looked. His bed matched all the furniture, the dressers, the ottoman, two chairs with a chess set. Riley had to get a hold of himself, none of that was important. Not the college degrees on the wall, not  the school trophies multiplying and morphing. HE WANTED THAT LUBE. 

Clothes flung in the air as Riley scoured every dresser for it. When the hell did Bohdi get so many clothes was another question that was beginning to piss Riley off. Riley found the underwear drawer, and he prayed the lube would be inside. He tossed and turned things over. He picked up a pair wondering why large compression shorts were in Bohdi’s things. Was he sleeping with another guy? No, of course, Bohdi wasn’t that type of dude. It’s just that Bohdi had started going through puberty earlier than the other boys and was more developed. Riley played with the elasticity of the waistband in his hands. Looking at the space for the pouch Bohdi was wayyyy more developed.

With a snap of his fingers Riley had it. He got on all fours and looked under the bed. Instead of being greeted by the sight of old Pokémon cards there, Riley saw dress shoes side by side. Black, brown, mahogany, almost a shoe rainbow. There were a few tennis shoes at the foot of the bed. Then out of the corner of his eye, Riley spotted the lube, He leaned and grabbed it. There was so much space under Bohdi’s bed now. Who knows what else was under there.

Certainly not Riley because the minute he grabbed the lube; he shucked off his underwear and skip-jogged to the bathroom. His cock led the way as he threw the bathroom door open and steam came out. He could hear the water running and Bohdi moaning on the other side of the shower curtain. 

“Don’t tell me you’ve started without me?” Riley said and got no response. He threw open the curtain expecting Bohdi to jump back, but Bohdi didn’t. Bohdi eyes were closed as he was leaned against the shower wall. He bit his lip as his facial hair began to grow. The hair follicles were coming back with a vengeance; They stretched out and didn’t seem to want to stop. Above his lip his mustache popped into the place, like a fat caterpillar resting above his lips. It wasn’t the same beard as before, this one was fuller, and bushier having claimed more residence over.

The hair on Bohdi’s chest took over, giving him two truly furry man pecs. As Riley’s eyes went lower, Bodhi’s pubic hair exploded outward like a black forest.  Down further Bohdi’s feet began to stretch; an invisible force pulled them longer. 

Riley dropped the lube. Bohdi’s eye snapped open, breath heavy, and water soaking into his hair-covered chest. He had a sexy smirk on his face until Riley began to back away.  “Wait, I’m not the one–”

Riley was already out of the bathroom having slammed the door behind him. His Deja vu was back with vengeance. It was like he’d seen Bohdi change before, but that was impossible. Worst of all his cock was rock hard. He needed to get away. He paused walking down the stairs. The house moved as if it was a mirage. It was like Bodi’s house was layered on top of another and someone had turned the transparency on. By the time Riley reached the bottom of the steps he forgot why he hadn’t stayed in the bathroom. He moseyed over to the living room couch. The shape wavered between a Lawson brown couch into a navy-blue sectional. Riley collapsed on the chaise part, face up.

“Fucking motion sickness.” Riley said, throwing an arm over his face. That had to be the reason the world, or the house at least, was warping. Riley needed to not look. Instead, he should think about how big Bohdi was. Bodhi’s early puberty development had left him looking like a grown man.  Riley’s memory was filled with Bohdi standing over all the students. Bohdi’s clothes were always several sizes too small for his growing body. On the soccer field it was like someone had dropped a burly model looking dude straight on the field. Teachers would stop Bohdi in the halls, mistaking him for a parent. 

“A parent?” Riley replayed that thought in his head. Why did that make him feel like he was forgetting something? 

“Hey,” Bohdi stood at the base of the steps, a towel wrapped around his waist. He was completely dry; finished with his shower. Riley didn’t notice he had lost that much track of time. “Why are you butt-ass naked on my couch?” Bohdi strode with a certain swagger on his hips coming to stand over Riley.

“I think you mean your parents’ couch.” Riley took his arm down. The couch had solidified as the navy-blue sectional. The house had fully converted to the other version. Though many of the same pictures and ornaments hung up on the walls and mantles, there was more vacant space, places where trinkets or pictures should have been. 

Bohdi leaned over Riley. Coming in for a kiss, he trapped Riley in with his powerful arms. Nothing new there; they had both done that sort of thing before. However, Riley tended to be the initiator. Bohdi’s physically imposing presence aided in his actions. Riley was swallowed up by him, a massive, muscled man. Putting up a leg, Bohdi slid on top of Riley. Riley was not going to be out done though he grabbed at Bohdi’s towel and yanked. The towel went flying as Bohdi’s cock fell onto Riley’s chest. A loud SMACK of skin meeting skin filled the air. 

“Holy…” Riley said. Bohdi’s cock had gone through another metamorphosis; It was a monster now. There was a weight and a heaviness to it, which is why it collided with Riley. Bohdi’s hairy chest rested on Riley’s smoother one, as they closed the gap between their bodies. Their cocks were pressed against each other, except Bodhi’s had some freedom due to the sheer size of it.  The two made out, grinding their hips into the other. Riley tried not to think about all the strange prickling sensations from Bohdi’s hair. He should have been familiar with it by now, they had been fooling around with each other and Unique for ages.

There was no chance of Bodhi’s parents coming back tonight. The boy’s exhibitionist spirits could run loose without having to worry about being caught. Though there was always the low chance they’d get discovered. Neither realized that chance was about to become zero. 

Bohdi’s left hand grabbed at Riley’s dick. Bohdi sat himself up, repositioning, before sitting on Riley’s. Riley helplessly watched his cock disappear between two furry man buns. Then it was gone. Bohdi didn’t wait; he immediately began to ride his boyfriend on the couch. Slow to start, but Bohdi soon found a Rhythm that came down with such force, Riley thought his hips might break. Bohdi was putting such power into his ass slamming down, without even meaning to, he simply had the muscles to do it. Riley should have been concerned about the bruising he’d possibly get, but he was entranced by the cock that swung in front of him. Using both hands Riley fittingly “manhandled” the cock and began to stroke it. 

Riley curiously looked up to see if Bohdi was enjoying it. Bohdi, however, had thrown his head back lost in the throes of ecstasy, Up and down he went. For a split-second Riley thought he saw Bohdi’s chest jiggle a bit more. A minute passed and then Riley was absolutely sure he saw it. Bohdi’s pecs had grown. The muscles had gained size, responding with more buoyancy. Riley found his right hand on Bohdi’s chest squeezing. Bohdi’s own hand came up and kept it there, moving it between his two jugs. 

The oversized soccer player was mumbling something. Riley focused on the words.

“I used to hate facial hair …I used to hate facial hair, THEN IT GREW ON ME.”

Bodhi’s beard grew thicker, and a respectable distance from his chin. His torso erupted in hair, not a spot of brown skin was left, a dark coarse black pelt took over. Riley’s fingers disappeared in the heavy darkness. Only Bohdi’s dollop size nipples remained in view. In tandem, the hair on Bohdi’s arms and legs got heavy. 

Riley’s mind was done, trying to comprehend, to compute. This was a hot and heavy MAN SEX. That was all that mattered. Who cared about the house rumbling? The walls shaking? Pictures falling to the floor? New pictures popping into place? The space on the wall rapidly filled up with awards and honors? Forget it. Riley couldn’t believe he was fucking such a hot guy.

“This has to be a joke,” Riley found himself saying with a smirk instead of thinking. 

On cue, Bohdi’s eyes locked with Riley’s, still fucking himself on Riley’s cock. “When does a joke become a Dad joke?”

“Who fucking cares,” Riley said, his mind miles away. 

Bohdi’s voice dropped low, and he spoke the words like an order, “Tell me, when does a joke become a Dad joke?

“When it’s apparent.” Riley answered immediately. His body shuddered and he came in unison with the man on top of him. The last thing he saw was a huge wad of cum lobbed straight at his eyes. 

Riley was back in the black void. In the distance he could still hear that domineering voice, but in front of him images played like clips sewn together from a movie reel.  Of him and his dad laughing and having a good time. His dad would say something, and Riley would laugh. Riley remembered these scenes. Those were genuine laughs he was giving. Perhaps his dad wasn’t as unfunny as Riley claimed.

 When Riley opened his eyes, he had no idea where he was. He stretched out looking around, Such a fancy and ornate looking house.

“Riley, what are you doing down here?” A voice asked.

Riley turned to see a man holding a coffee mug with ‘World’s greatest dad on’ it. The man was wearing an open silk purple robe with matching pajama bottoms and dark gray slippers. His large, pelted torso was on display, but much lower, a person would have to be blind not to see the imprint the man’s large cock was making in his pants. The man walked over his cock swinging along the way, Riley quickly diverted his attention.

“And where are your clothes?” the man asked.

Riley had only now noticed he was undressed. Luckily there was a towel over him. Reaching down, Riley confirmed he still had his underwear on.

The man sighed, “I’m guessing the boys did this,” the man asked as he turned back towards the staircase, “But I didn’t notice you when I came down to the kitchen. Did I want a morning cup of joe that badly? Careful Riley, I might be an addict.”  The man smiled while sipping his cup.

Riley fought the urge to ask, ‘who are you?’ instead, he looked around the house. Pictures of this man and two brute looking teenagers took up a sizable portion of their walls. Other objects had the surname Kashyap engraved onto them. His eyes fell on the one thing he recognized, the name “Bohdi Kashyap” engraved under a large trophy of a man kicking a soccer ball. 

“Bohdi,” Riley repeated.

 The man’s eyes went wide, “Riley, now you know to call me Mr. Kashyap.”

Riley was confused this wasn’t Bohdi’s dad. Mr. Kashyap wasn’t quite so… rugged.  Or was he?  Riley’s mind was trying to grasp at something… anything. His mind couldn’t formulate a thought, until he said, “I’m friends with you…r son?” Was it a statement or a question, Riley didn’t know.

Mr. Kashyap nodded his head in fake understanding. “I see you’ve got morning brain too. I’m the same. So, I’ll disregard your name slip up,” He nodded towards the stairs. “I’m sure the twins are sleeping peacefully in their beds after dragging you down here. You know how they are; they love pranks. They get that from me.”

“Twins?” Riley was sure he only knew one person with the name Kashyap, but twins sounded right. They were both on the rugby team, bulky dudes. And Riley had bedded them both at the same time on numerous occasions. At least before the older one started dating, Unique and Riley got closer to the younger one. After the concert he must have crashed, then boom he was prime target for the twins’ mischievous natures. 

“If they give you a hard time getting your clothes this morning, let me know.” Mr. Kashyap said and walked towards the stairs. 

“This is a nice house,” Riley felt like he had to say something kind to make up for his utter lack of awareness. Though he was always here, why would he say it now?

Mr. Kashyap smiled on the steps, “The bank keeps calling me to give me compliments, they say I have an outstanding balance.” He continued walking up the steps. Riley watched him go and couldn’t peel his eyes away from the solid figure disappearing. 

Getting to school was a pain in the ass. The twins wouldn’t let him back into the room to change. Then when they did, they both had huge boners in their underwear, only to make Riley horny. When Riley got to homeroom he crashed. He needed to go back to sleep. Francisco came in and said hello. In front of him, sat another buff looking dude. Riley considered asking about the new student, because the guy certainly didn’t look like the kid from the day before. Ultimately Riley decided he just didn’t care enough. 

When homeroom was over, Riley was happy to leave. He had first period free. No class, no other students, nothing. He planned to go to the library, find a nice quiet section and sleep. Unfortunately, what he got instead was a text from Emil asking to meet in the parking lot. 

Riley grunted as he stormed his way out the front doors of the school. Emil would probably be on Riley’s motor bike as he always was. What Riley found, however, was not that. Instead, there was some dude in a beanie hat and gray muscle shirt, sitting on his bike. A hot view, but strangers on his personal property wasn’t awesome.

“Thank god! You’re okay.” The dude ran up and gripped Riley tightly, spinning him around.

“Woah, get off me dude,” Riley pushed the guy back. 

“Riles it me, Emil” the guy said.

Like a switch going off in his head Riley’s memory began to change. Gone was the skater boy slacker type frame, replaced by a gym bro. Though he still had his long hair albeit now hidden under the hat. His face was wider which worked in tandem with his new neck that was thicker than an elephant trunk. 

“Oh…of course” Riley muttered.

“NO, NOT OF FUCKING COURSE!” Emil said through gritted teeth. “I don’t fucking work out, you know I don’t!” 

Riley scrunched his eyebrow that also sounded true.

“If I hadn’t decided to smoke this morning, I might have not realized it myself.” He put a hand to his forehead. “Have you even noticed Bodhi and Raúl are gone?”

A spark started in Riley’s brains that ignited. He knew those names! “Oh shit, I remember,” They were boys in his class. Yet they were no longer in his class. Just thinking about those names got his dick hard and he knew why. “They’re…They’re dads. “

“Yeah, They’re dads and they’ve been replaced by their hot sons in school. I mean here I was thinking we were all pretty alright dudes for high school, but their sons are like sex on a stick.” Emil threw his head back sighing and looked at the sky. “They’re not the only one’s either. Some of the kids at our lunch table yesterday. I Didn’t see them in class, and I think I know why now.”

“Let me guess there were ‘new’ students who had always been there?  Happened to me too. I think this guy in my homeroom is gone now.” 

“Dude, I’m not ready for kids.” He sat on Riley’s bike twiddling his thumbs, “Though the muscles are nice, and I do look hot,” convincing himself. “Any words of the wise for a doomed man?” 

“Emil this IS hot to be honest,” Riley admitted frustratingly. “But how does something like this even happen? What’s causing it?”

Emil shrugged. “All I know is I couldn’t get Bohdi’s stupid joke out of my head. I even woke up laughing about it.”

“What joke?”

“He said when it comes to guys like me it’s hard to know whether I’m better at getting people or things baked.” A smile crept on Emil’s face. He shook his head as if to remove it. “See I was on the verge of laughing and all it did was make me chuckle last night. Now I just want to…ugh” He dragged his hands down his face.

Riley sighed, “You know what, let’s play hooky. I’ll tell the school; we weren’t feeling well.” Riley knew his dad would be mad as hell if he found out. Skipping wasn’t exactly Riley’s brand of ‘cool’ but he’d help a friend out if needed. He got on his bike as Emil hoped on behind him. Riley wanted to ask what was with the banana poking him, but when he thought on it realized it was more than a banana.

The moment they got to Emil’s house. Emil hopped off the motorcycle and ran to the front door jamming his keys inside. Riley, however, was more content to take his time, removing his helmet. Besides, something about Emil’s house looked off. It was bigger than normal or maybe it was a trick of the light. Riley dismounted his bike and slowly moved toward the door. Was Emil’s house really like a mini mansion? 

“Dude come on,” Emil had poked his head outside the doorway and was waving his hand frantically. Riley jogged over stepping into the house. The interior opened right into an atrium with a large chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Riley’s eyes went down to Emil’s frame walking into another room. However, before Emil reached that room his body sprung up in height. It was only so obvious because his shirt rode up revealing his belly button.

Emil looked back at Riley, “You saw that too?” Riley nodded wordlessly. “Fuck, Fuck! Okayyyyyy,” Emil grabbed at his throat. His voice had suddenly taken a nose drive, and the deep baritone that finished the statement was unfamiliar to both parties. The two shared a look before Emil marched into the living room. Riley was right behind him. 

Emil gestured towards the couch. “Please sit.” his voice made it sound like a command even with the word ‘please’ thrown’ in. Riley sat while Emil continued onward back to the kitchen. 

Riley’s mind was doing overtime. Emil’s house was changing and yet it was as familiar as ever. It was starting to come back to Riley. This particular deja vu had happened in Boh– Mr. Kashyap’s house! Though this time the house was already changed. Emil’s house was expansive and expensive. It always has been. The fireplace and the new coffee table were all befitting the new ambiance. A fact planted deep into Riley’s head. Riley could feel his brain accepting that fabrication. Though logically he knew Emil’s parents were modest middle-class people. 

Riley heard a voice in his head warning him. That it always went like this. His friends were becoming hot dads and all he could do was sit back and watch. Only he and the person transforming were aware, yet Emil and his weed made him remember what things should be like. Was that the answer?

Emil walked back into the room as Riley simply stared. Emil was shirtless now wearing only an apron. Emil sighed, realizing why Riley was staring “My shirt fucking burst in the kitchen. My muscles grew and my shirt went *POP*. You didn’t hear it?”

Riley shook his head; he certainly didn’t. Emil’s upper half had certainly grown; his arms were massive with pecs so large that his nipples couldn’t hide behind the apron. Riley had to keep his dick down. Emil certainly looked like a porn fantasy Riley had once, except for the gym shorts. Though the way they were barely containing that bubble, they wouldn’t last long either. 

A sweet scent wafted through the air. “What’s that smell?” Riley asked.

“Oh, I put some brownies in the oven.” Emil walked closer and leaned over, “If you know what I mean,” he said with a wink.  After standing back upright he turned around showing off his body.” You didn’t think I put this apron on just for the hell of it did you?” 

In all honesty, Riley had no idea why Emil would put an apron on at all, but it was nice to look at. Especially the ass. Riley was sure Emil’s butt bounced as he turned, getting several sizes larger.

There was a loud *DING*

“Ohhh the brownies are done,” He clapped his hands. “I know how much you and the boys love my brownies.” He poked Riley in the side a few times rapidly causing him to laugh. Then, Emil went back into the kitchen.

“What the fuck was that?” Riley poked at his own sides. He wasn’t normally that ticklish. Also, how could the brownies be done? Riley could admit to losing a bit of time staring at the house, but they couldn’t have been her for longer than 15 mins. Brownies would need at least 25 minutes. 

“Ready!” Emil’s voice shouted, and Riley’s head turned. Emil was standing with oven mitts on, holding the tray in front of him. He had a huge goofy smile as he began walking over. His face began to reshape, starting with his lower jaw. He gained even more inches in height as his body went up a weight class in pure muscle. Riley couldn’t tell at first if Emil was growing, or his apron was shrinking but one thing was sure. His gym shorts had disappeared. Dude was rocking it in his too tight underwear. His bulge was poking out through his apron. He sat the tray on the coffee table then reclined on the couch, with a short spin. Opening his legs, he let one fall on the spine of the couch and the other move to Riley’s lap.

He had done this before. Emil getting high was like unlocking a cock hound. They had traded blowjobs and even a few kisses before. Emil’s way of laying on the couch was invitation to initiate sexual acts. However now it was like Riley was trapped between two hams, with the way his thighs had grown. Emil gave a smirk to Riley but didn’t say anything. He reached over and plucked a brownie off the tray and bit into it. “Hmm maybe this becoming a dad thing isn’t so bad cause these brownies are the best I’ve ever made.”

Riley reached over, he was shocked the brownies were warm, but not hot. Hadn’t they just come out of the oven? Anyway, as he bit into one, he couldn’t get over how soft it was, and how his teeth sank right into them. So good, the perfect amount of sweet and… wait. Riley played with brownie in his mouth, waiting for a hint or something else. It never came. This was just a brownie plain and simple.

Emil finished his brownie as a stubble began to press out from his face. Another brownie disappeared off the tray and Emil’s facial hair started to grow rapidly. The more of the brownie he ate the darker and denser his new beard became. Emil reached for another brownie, this time hair appeared all over his body. It wasn’t dense hair but a fair dusting. A few brownie crumbs fell into Emil’s beard. He laughed, brushing it off, “You know that old saying? Used to hate facial hair, then it grew on me and all that. Makes crumbs annoying though.”

Riley stood up, “Hold on. I think I’ve heard that before.”

“Yeah, it’s a classic.”

“No. I mean recently.” The connections in Riley’s brain were continuing to fade. “Do you know your house is different?”

Emil shrugged his boulder shoulders, “Kinda, but it also feels right, you know? The bank keeps calling me to give me compliments, they say I have an outstanding balance.”

Riley rolled his eyes; he had heard that one before. He paused and it all hit him at once. A joke about facial hair, a joke about money. Those ‘jokes’ had compounded together and now Emil really was a guy with facial hair and money. Just like Mr. Kashyap…and Riley could feel his head get fuzzy again. Damn Emil’s brownies were good. He really was good at baking or whatever he had said earlier. Riley sat back on the couch, between Emil’s legs again. unsure of why he was standing. Emil ate another brownie and his beard became unruly. Very unlike the well-groomed beard, Mr. Karshap had or the permanent 5 o'clock shadow stained on Mr. Hendrix’s face. Emil’s beard was that of a truly “nature’s man” kind of guy.

“Is it hot in here?” Emil began to fan himself, then simply reached up and pulled his beanie hat off, except when he did his hair popped off with it. Riley rubbed his eyes. In Emil’s grasp, at the bottom of the hat, sat Emil’s hair, attached like a wig. Emil stared at it completely bald now. He tossed it over the spine of the couch. Riley never heard it plop onto the ground. Then again, he was too preoccupied with the way Emil’s body began to swell and stretch again.  Emil’s limbs got longer starting with his legs. They grew to the arms of the couch and his feet hung even beyond that.  Emil was a massive 6 ft 7 beast of a man wrapped in a cooking apron.

Riley was trapped between the steel bars of Emil’s leg; One on the spine of the couch either leg across Riley’s lap. The second leg had to way a ton Riley couldn’t; understand how Emil could be dragging all that muscle around. However, if there was one thing getting his attention. It was the tent poking up from the apron. Emil’s cock was out in the open and vulnerable. Where had his underwear gone? Who cared? Certainly not Riley. No, he was way more focused on how dry his throat felt staring at the dick.

Emil, too busy munching on another of his non-laced brownies, was defenseless as a warmth enveloped his cock. The big guy sputtered as crumbs flung from his lips onto his apron. He turned his large head down to see Riley had lodged his mouth on the cock. Emil moved if hand prepared to take Riley off, but slowly Riley began to force more of the cock into his throat. Emil paused due to the sensation. He could feel Riley’s throat opening to take him in. Except it was more than that. Even now Emil’s cock was growing to fit a man of his size, which meant it was expanding in Riley’s throat. 

It was too late by the time Riley noticed. At first it was just a tickle, then it was like the cock was digging around, carving out its own space. Riley tried to back up but his jaw was locked up by the girth.  That’s when the heaviness came, weighing down in Riley’s esophagus and bulging his  esophagus out. Riley’s throat muscles flexed and pulsed trying to dislodge the cock out.

Emil’s hand gently wrapped around the back of Riley’s head and guided him down further. Riley couldn’t believe more of Emil’s cock was going into him. Then Riley was at the base of Emil’s cock, nose buried in Emil’s thick man-pubes. His eyes traveled up the pinnacle of masculinity, hidden behind domestication. Emil was a house husband. It was an absurd sight. Ridiculous. No, a joke.  

“When does a joke become a dad joke?” Emil asked. 

Riley struggled to speak, but the answer came automatically. The cock in Riley’s throat twitched as ropes shot off and flowed into his stomach, but it was too much For Riley. Unable to get a single breath with the cock, blocking his airways, He passed out. 

—

Riley woke up in a black void. No, it was a dark room. His room. The lights were turned off. He sat up in bed, then went over to his door. Light from the bathroom was peeking through the crack in his room.  Riley realized he wasn’t moving his body, as it made its way to the hallway then downstairs. This was a memory. Now New Year’s day, 2 hours after the ball had fallen and his dad still hadn’t gone to bed.  Mr. Fern sat outside on the front steps with a thin blanket staring at the night sky.

“Dad, you should go to bed.” Riley stepped outside and sat beside his father.

“Me? I like to get a good look up at the stars.” Mr. Fern removed the blanket off himself and put it over his son, “What are you doing up so late?” Mr. Fern nudged his shoulder into his son. The two shared a quick laugh.

Riley shrugged, “Guess I hadn’t tortured my ears enough and wanted to hear another one of your terrible jokes.” 

“You little,” Mr. Fern pulled on Riley’s ear and pinched his cheek. The duo couldn’t stop laughing. “Instead of looking for a shooting star and wishing for world peace perhaps I should wish for you to learn to appreciate my jokes.?” Mr. Fern turned his head and pressed his hands together praying dramatically. 

Riley snorted, “Maybe.” he said silently, and leaned onto his father’s shoulder. 

—

There was a loud groan, It took Riley a moment to realize it was coming from his own mouth. His stomach hurt. Looking at the ceiling, and the elaborate chandelier, he already knew he was already in Mr. Lodson’s house. Immediately he knew why his stomach hurt. He was stuffed full of desserts. Mr. Lodson was a food pusher, but especially of desserts. 

The door to the house opened and a chorus of footsteps piled in. 

“Boys, boys” A brassy voice rang out. “I can’t believe you guys made Riley eat all this food alone while you guys played outside.” 

Riley didn’t have the strength to move his body, but anyone could tell Mr. Lodson’s overpowering voice and the sound of 4 sons marching around. One in each year of high school. Mr. Lodson and his bountiful feast were the reason his sons’ footsteps were so heavy. Every single calorie was converted into muscles in the Lodson family.

“Dad, you know once we start eating your cooking, we can’t stop.” A voice rang answered. Riley couldn’t muster up the strength to turn his head. It had to be one of those boisterous sons, talking back. 

There was more talking and movement, but it was indiscernible to Riley. He was suffering the aftereffects of a food coma. He didn’t know how long he was on the couch. All the voices coalesced and faded away, the ceiling turned dark. Riley sat up feeling better than ever. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. It was 11 pm on a school night! Mr. Lodson had let Riley fall asleep in his house once again. The man had so many sons he couldn’t tell Riley wasn’t one of them. Riley saw his dad had left a message.  He cursed under his breath playing it as he made his way out the house.

“Riley, when you’re supposed to be home?” The message was asked in a way to ensure it was not a question. Mr. Fern let out a long sigh, “You know even Simba was extremely eager to buy a motorcycle so that he could Mu-fasa.” Riley groaned, hopping onto his bike. His dad always made terrible stress puns when he worried, and they only got worse. Mr. Fern paused before talking, “Anyway I haven’t pulled my hair out yet just get home soon or else I’ll call the police.” Riley started up his motorcycle and pulled out of Mr. Lodon’s driveway.

Riley’s brain was wracked. How would his dad react to this? Would he be mad? Crying on the couch? Pacing back and forth in the living room? Riley wasn’t the kid that stayed out late. This was more stress than he needed. There was a tickle in his throat. Riley had a light cough. Then another. A real one. Actually, it wasn’t a cough…it was a laugh.  In his head Riley could hear his father saying, “You know even Simba was extremely eager to buy a motorcycle so that he could Mu-fasa.” That was a funny joke. Not a gut buster, but it was stuck in his head. Annoying enough to stay there and not get out.

Even in the dark of the night, Riley rolled his eyes. He was giving a true genuine laugh to one of his dad jokes. His father would be loving this if he was here. Riley had to adjust himself on the motorcycle. The front was stretching away. But Riley knew that had to be nighttime playing tricks on him. Even the pedals shifted forward, aiding Riley’s posture shift. For a moment, Riley wasn’t sure if his feet could reach the new pedals, but he found them. He hadn’t noticed his legs had stretched to accommodate his new motorcycle. 

 What a motorcycle it was! The phrase ‘outstanding balance’ rang in Riley’s head. He could see it. Envisioning himself with money buying a motorcycle that reflected that. Where had he heard that phrase from? His ride became a Harley-Davidson not just a common motorcycle his father had bought from god knows where. And the names Simba and Mufasa ran through his head.

Riley’s grip ons the handles grew tighter as his body began to fill with muscles. Beginning with his chest, two bodacious pecs popped themselves into existence and continued to grow. Catching sight of it, Riley swerved off the road, but managed to safely come to a stop at the roadside. 

“What the?” He watched as the transformation taking over his chest spread down to his arms. Riley gained more inches in height while his abs came into existence. The growth hadn’t stopped; it now flowed into his arms and legs respectively.  Riley’s ass ripped his pants straight down the middle. He could feel the night air on his bare ass all because his ass had decided to copy his chest and stand out like a shelf. Riley’s arms and legs wobble as a tingling sensation overtook him. 

Everything felt so good. Riley knew he was changing and growing. His arms swelled and the sleeves of his jacket began to rip. “Uh oh.” Riley had a tightness in his pants that was only getting worse. His thighs were taking up much more space in his pants. No way. This was hot, he couldn’t deny that, but he wasn’t going to stay out on a dark road. He hopped back on his bike. Down the road he went. The wind brushed past his face; soon little black streaks were cutting into his line of vision. He tried to swipe at them before realizing it was his own hair growing out from his head. Riley didn’t even understand how that was possible. He always had a helmet on to — Wait, when did he last have his helmet? — Because he certainly wasn’t wearing one right now. He heard his Dad’s voice in his head again talking about Simba and Mufasa. This time Riley laughed, a good hearty laugh. No one else was on the road. Why should he care if he was laughing at some joke? His arms and shoulders burst through the sleeves of his jacket, turning it into a makeshift vest. “Woah.” Riley said and his voice came out like a low growl. 

Riley quickly pressed a hand against his throat; he was off put by the surface of his neck being prickly. In his head he could hear, “I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.” The sentence bounced around in there refusing to get out. The scruff on Riley’s face only grew longer and bushier as a result. A full beard.  

The road stretched on into a black abyss. Had the ride From Mr. Lodson’s house always been long? Instead of actively thinking about it, Riley was fighting against the desire to rub into the seat of his bike. He couldn’t help it his cheeks were becoming firmer every second leaving less room to properly sit. And that was only in the back. Riley’s cock had always been good for his size, but now it was claiming prime real estate in his pants. His penis inched up his right thigh, its outline increasing the farther he traveled down the road. 

Finally, Riley’s feet ripped through his tennis shoes. They could no longer contain the giant size soles and toes. However, they weren’t bare for long as the shoes began to morph, the material fading into a complete black with the shoestrings following. The shoe traveled up. Past his ankles swallowing a portion of his now beefer legs, engulfing them. Soon Riley was sporting a pair of combat boots.

Another voice rang in his head, “Are you better at getting people or things baked?” A smile formed on Riley’s lips. He was known to partake in recreational drug usage from time to time. And he was known to cook though baking wasn’t his strong suit like Mr. Lodson. Riley, however, was more at ease behind a grill with a “kiss the cook” apron. 

A smile formed on Riley’s lips. He was feeling amazing. Almost home. Then he spoke out the words “Simba and Mu-fasa.” He was thinking of the joke, but also of those two strong powerful lions. His hair exploded outward. No gradual lengthening this time. It was all carried back by the wind and blew gloriously. Houses lined up both sides of the street. With the change Riley had to come to a stop once more. His head was getting fuzzy. He pulled off to the side and held the bridge of his nose. 

He caught his reflection in his side view mirror. Damn he looked good. Like a proud fucking lion. There was a tingle that danced on the back of his former leather jacket. He quickly removed it. Embroidered across the back was an image of a lion made of smaller golden metal diamonds. He put the vest back on. It looked way smaller once it was on his body. He couldn’t even close it. His chest was too big. It made him laugh. What a fucking joke.

He looked away from his mirror to the houses around him. He had never been to this part of town. Must have been another affluent section of the city. The houses here were like baby mansions. How had he even gotten here? The house he was stopped in front of was the only one with the light on. There was a man inside walking back and forth in front of his window. Riley stared for a minute, squinting there was something familiar about the man, and his frantic movement… that was… His dad. Riley’s eyes got wide. “Shit, shit,” He muttered. He was late coming home. Though why was his dad in this strange house? Riley hopped off his motorcycle. His knee collided with a new helmet strapped to the handlebars.

“Where the…?” Riley grabbed it, only briefly considering its origin, before strolling up to the house. Up the path he tried to hold his laughter back, bringing a fist up to his mouth like a stifled cough. However, that built up humor stayed with him. Every failed attempt pumped his chest up even further, until he just had to let it out. A strong chuckle that threatened to wake the entire neighborhood. Thankfully, by then he was already at his door. He knocked. He had to. His keys weren’t with him. His jeans were so constrictive due to his musculature he could see and feel everything in them. And the only thing he could feel tonight was his massive bulge, outlined like a concealed weapon. His cock throbbed.

What would his dad think when he opened the door? Why was Riley dressed like this? Why did he look so sexy?  Or maybe he’d laugh thinking Riley looked funny. As if it was a joke. But Riley didn’t feel like a joke; he felt immense. If he was a joke, he was a big joke. Hunkier and manlier than any joke ever told. His cock was leaking, straight down his leg. Even if he couldn’t see his face, he could just feel the power and confidence radiating from deep inside him. It turned him on so damn much. Then he heard the question in his head. 

“When does a joke become a dad joke?”

On the opposite side of the door His father’s footsteps got closer. With each step Riley’s cock jumped in his pants, no longer a simple twitch. “When it’s APPARENT!” Riley answered to no one. The friction against his pants leg stimulated his cock head until the door finally opened and Riley was cumming in his pants. Spurt after spurt as the door opened wider. Then Riley found himself breathing heavily in front of the man in the doorway

“Hun, who are you shouting at? It’s late at night, who’s out there?” The man tried to peer around Riley’s broad shoulders. 

“No, I wasn’t shouting. Just remembering the end to a funny joke you told me a long time ago. Want me to remind you? “

A smile grew on the other man’s face, “You know I love a good joke, but if you laugh again, you might actually wake up the kids and the rest of the neighborhood.” Riley was ushered inside. His pants had become completely dry as he walked in the living room. “The last thing we need is people saying the Ferns are disrespectful. 

“Who could ever hate a bunch of PLANT-people like us?” He replied smugly as the door closed. Then he wrapped his arms around his husband. “Come on Mr. Fern, let’s go to bed, I’m tired.”

“Hi, I’m tired, I’m dad!” the other man laughed.

“You were waiting for that one, weren’t you?” Riley eyed his husband suspiciously.

“Why Mr. Fern, I have no idea what you mean…” He stepped out of the embrace, holding on to one of Riley’s arms and dragged him upstairs.